RE: WRITING
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WHAT I LEARNED FROM 4 MONTHS OF SUBMITTING MY BOOK TO AGENTS

2/11/2019

17 Comments

 
A pile of badges saying
Here’s a question for all my fellow writers:
 
When was the last time you thought about giving up?
 
Or how about this:
 
When was the last time you made an ultimatum with yourself? When was the last time you said that if you didn’t achieve X, you were going to throw in the towel?
 
Did you achieve X?


Because here’s something you’ve heard before: writing is hard.


I’ve been a writer, in some form or another, most of my life. Funny thing, though—I never really got that saying. Sure, it can be difficult at times to find the right words to express yourself with; frustrating to figure out the next step in your story. But mostly, if you’re passionate about it, writing is fun.


Then I did something I once thought (for reasons I’ve discussed in the past) unattainable: I finished a novel.


I submitted it to agents.


And that’s when I finally understood.


Writing is hard.


Hard to see the rejections. Hard to understand why no one else seems to share your passion for something you spent so long on. Hard to feel that self-doubt creep in; to watch powerlessly as you second-guess every instinct you have.


You begin to wonder if you’re any good. You begin to ask yourself how long are you going to keep trying before you realize this isn’t meant to be.


And that is when I gave myself an ultimatum.


Get a win. Something big; something that mattered. Get it soon.


Or I’m done.


Well, here’s a spoiler for you: I didn’t get my X—at least not yet, anyway.


But I learned something else, just a couple of weeks ago.


Something I’d like to share with you.


I got another rejection. There was nothing particularly unique to this one, but it hit me harder than all the others. Maybe it was just that proverbial straw and I the camel’s back. Whatever the reason, I found myself looking back at those four months of submitting my novel in despair. Maybe this was my answer. Maybe this was my sign that it was time to give up.


And that’s when it hit me.


When I looked back at those four months, all I could remember was rejection.


I hadn’t lived those months. I’d done things and experienced things, but all I’d really cared about was that one success. And because I never got it, I hadn’t been able to focus on anything else I was achieving.


I realized a few things in that moment. Firstly, I realized how unbelievably patient my wife had been with me. Looking back, I was able to see for the first time that I hadn’t been easy to live with for those four months.


And yet she supported me, without a word of complaint.


The other thing I realized—and the one I want to share with you—is that life is a journey. It’s not always a straight path to get to your goals, and there are surprises and there are twists and turns every step of the way.


But if you persevere; if you fight for it; if you truly believe in yourself; you’ll get there.


I believe that. I truly do. I don’t know when, but I believe that one day, I will achieve my goals.


But what I realized in that moment is that it will never happen if I let the journey destroy me first. If, instead of embracing the surprises and the twists and turns for the learning experience they are, I grow dejected and bitter over the fact that I’m not succeeding at the speed I want to.  


I’ll be broken before I make it.


In short, I learned that I needed to stop giving myself ultimatums. There didn’t need to be an “or else” to my dreams.


I didn’t succeed to the extent I wanted today.


Possibly, I won’t tomorrow either.


But when I stop and look back, I realize I’m not standing still either.


Maybe that’s all I really need. 
17 Comments
Debbie Burke link
2/12/2019 05:25:48 am

Eli, an eloquent post about the eternal dilemma of being a writer.

In my case, a more accurate title would be "What I Learned After 30 Years of Submitting to Agents." So, my friend, the struggle goes on, no matter how long we're at it.

The conclusion remains the same: "But if you persevere; if you fight for it; if you truly believe in yourself; you’ll get there."

Acceptance and rejection are out of our hands. The only parts we control are to keep learning and improving our craft and not give up.

Reply
Eli Landes
2/12/2019 05:33:32 am

Thank you, Debbie. That means a lot to me.

Reply
Jerri
2/12/2019 04:27:31 pm

Thanks for sharing! A good message to apply in any situation. I mostly write for myself (sure!) but I have been guilty of such terrible tunnel vision. We really are our own worst critics so what others dish out should be easier to take. I await your publication.

Reply
Eli Landes
2/13/2019 07:06:20 am

Thank you, Jerri. And I agree--rejection exists in every field. It's our reaction to it that's important

Reply
Tom Parker
2/12/2019 09:36:26 pm

Eli, could you share what the feedback from editors was? And also did you take it to heart and revise your work? Or did you just ignore it?

Reply
Eli Landes
2/13/2019 07:08:06 am

Hi Tom,

Mostly I received form letters, but those that gave feedback usually said that they liked the concept but they didn't feel they were a good fit for it. And I get that. The concept is a little "out there," and I understand why it's risky. But I also believe in it, and am not willing to stop fighting just because I haven't found the right home for it yet.

Reply
Rosalia
2/14/2019 10:40:32 am

Hi Elu.

It's a lot more work but, have you considered self-publishing or a smaller independent publishing company.

Reply
Eli Landes
2/15/2019 08:45:49 am

Hi Rosalia,

It's always a possibility, but I don't think four months is enough time for me to throw in the towel on the traditional approach yet.

Reply
Mike
8/24/2020 10:23:21 pm

Is there not a time though, when someone (me) should think about throwing in the towel? I hear alot of people pitching self belief and perseverance, but surely there has to be a point were one (me) should say "nah, screw it".

Reply
Eli Landes
8/25/2020 05:44:26 am

Hi Mike,

Honestly, I don't know if there's a specific formula to figure it out. I think a lot of it *is* belief. You need to ask yourself: do you believe enough in this book that you're willing to fight for it, no matter what?

Ultimately, I didn't--not with the book I'm writing about in this article, anyway. I stopped submitting because I stopped believing. But I recently finished a different book, and this one I *do* believe in. And I'm gonna fight for it--no matter what.

I hope that helps.

Reply
Mike
9/29/2020 11:58:21 am

I get what your saying, but I kinda worry that i'm the parent of the ugly kid at the pageant. But doesn't realize that my kid's the ugly one know what I mean? like i'm biased.

Eli Landes
9/29/2020 12:14:35 pm

I definitely get what you're saying. I think we all feel that: what if we're just another hack? What if we're that person who just can't see how bad they are?

I don't know if there's an easy answer to that, but if you're seriously concerned, maybe pay for a professional to look your manuscript over (to clarify, that is not a hint. I do not offer that service.) Or maybe try a critique group. Personally, I've found critique groups to be iffy at best--you get some good advice, but also a lot of bad advice, and in the end I never really found myself walking away with things I didn't already know. But I know writers who find them immensely helpful.

Hope this helps.

Ken Jester
9/29/2020 10:38:06 am

I feel your pain. Nine rejections. Form letters. Rejections were so fast, I know not a word of my manuscript was read.

Reply
Eli Landes
9/29/2020 11:49:34 am

Hi Ken,

That's rough. I'm sorry. But to be honest, 9 rejections isn't a lot. I know that it's not much comfort, and it's the same stupid advice you can get from anyone else, but it's true. There are *thousands* of literary agents out there. I know we writers like to think that if we've got something good, agents will grab it within the first month--but that often isn't the case.

Also, from everything I've seen, I don't think you should read anything into response times. Any number of factors could influence the speed of a response: the agent's a fast reader, they don't represent your genre, they do represent your genre but not this style of book, something you wrote upset them, etc. It could be due to so many factors that it's just not worth getting caught up in thinking about it.

I don't know if this helped at all. All I can say is: if you believe you've got something good, don't give up. Especially not after nine rejections. Chances are you're gonna get a lot more before you get that yes.

Reply
SP Singh
10/8/2020 09:09:14 am

Hi Eli,

I think a writer needs to have a lot of patience while querying. I've queried more than fifty agents and publishers. Initially, the rejections did upset me but now I've grown used to them. I'm quite hopeful that someone would like my book and agree to represent me. Until then I wait and write another book. We all need luck in abundance.

Reply
copper tap with pullout hose link
12/30/2020 06:05:18 pm

I like the way you describe it. So perfect!

Reply
黒い蛇口 link
1/8/2021 09:45:47 pm

Good article, I like it

Reply

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    Eli Landes is one of those weird writers who just can't get enough. A marketing writer by day and a fiction writer whenever he can squeeze in the time, he spends his spare time working on his novel, writing short fiction, or daydreaming (I mean, researching). His main genre is Jewish fiction, but he's been known to dabble in the weird, the absurd, and the truly dark.

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Eli Landes (me, in case that wasn't clear) is a marketing copywriter, manager of content marketing, and fiction writer. This is his blog.
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  • Home
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